If you wait to get inspired, you probably won’t just get inspired. It’s like waiting for a lunch you haven’t even started cooking to finish cooking. You have to do something to get inspired. You have to prepare yourself to get inspired, you have to inspire yourself to get inspired. I know it sounds scary, but in reality, it’s not. See, I didn’t even plan to write this post today, it just happened and I wanted to share with you how it happened.
In the past few months I’ve been thinking about how uninspired I am and how I can’t find a passion in life. I’ve been reading, I’ve been talking to people, I’ve been searching but I just couldn’t figure it out. For the past two months I’ve been doing some work with plants, precisely essential oils, and I found myself in a struggle and resistence with the whole program. I contacted my beautiful wise mentor and she said something that struck me: “When we feel like everything is too much, that means it is too little of ourselves.” It’s like a light bulb went on over my head. She was completely right! I couldn’t find inspiration or my passion because I couldn’t connect with myself or anything that inspires me or sparks a light in me, because I wasn’t there.
Ok, great, now I know what’s the problem, but how am I going to solve that problem? How the hell am I going to connect with myself if I don’t even know how to do it? Well, I started to pay more attention to myself, I started to listen to music more, I started to drink coffee in the morning by myself, I started to sit quietly in my kitchen when kids fall asleep in the evening, I started to dance more in my living room, I continued to work with essential oils. Oh, and touch helps because it brings focus back to our bodies. If you have someone in your life who can give you a massage or cuddle with you, just ask for it! Or you can go to a nearest massage studio and get a massage. You can even touch yourself, in both sexual or non-sexual way, whichever you prefer. You don’t have to do any of this, just find something that relaxes you in a quiet and peaceful way. For example, I noticed playing guitar relaxes me but it doesn’t help me to bring attention back to myself because when I play guitar I wander off somewhere far away, so you want something that brings you back to earth.
So, I was sitting in my kitchen this morning drinking coffee, the rain was falling, I turned off the lights, I put some music on and I was thinking about what to do with my life. And something in me just woke up, the sound of music, the rainy morning, the taste of coffe, I suddenly felt like I was in a movie and I got a sudden urge to take my camera and capture that moment. I literally ran to take my camera and took a few quick shots. And it felt so good because it felt so natural and so right and I felt a spark in my heart. And let me tell you this, this photograph didn’t turn out perfect, but it is definitely better than nothing. And all of that because I just sat with myself in the kitchen on an ordinary rainy day. And I have some things to do today, I could’ve just put myself on an autopilot like I normally do and start working right away, but I’ve decided I’d drink some coffe first and just be with myself for a moment. It seems like being there for yourself, being mindful for just a moment and being gentle to yourself really does the trick.
And then I realized I already know what I want to do in my life. I want to write, I want to take photographs, I want to capture moments, I want to tell stories, I want to paint, I want to make art, but it all sounds so scary for me because it seems so distant and uncharted. I have so much to learn and that scares me, I struggle with finding inspiration, that scares me too, but I think things are finally coming together for me and I’m excited to experience more of the moments like these.